Identity, Self-Worth and Abuse

The word, abuse, is an interesting word. Notice the word, ‘use’, in its structure. When we ‘use’ a tool to get a job accomplished we ‘use’ it correctly and for its intended application. To ‘mis-use’ a tool will result in the tool possibly being damaged and the application or job done incompletely or in failed application.

Relationships are certainly more organic than inanimate objects, but no less subject to proper application of the ‘tools’ governing them, and the ‘mis-use’ of those tools may result in damage, pain, sorrow, depending on the one misusing the relational tools and the victim’s tolerance.

Abuse is the misuse, perverting, prostituting, and profaning of relationships. Abuser’s exploit their victims for a variety of nefarious reasons, but in all they do they are purposely maltreating, mishandling, castigating, attacking, whether verbally, physically, mentally or emotionally their intended targets.

The ‘victim’ is the person or person’s whom the Abuser has targeted.

For the purpose of this Blog, I want to point out that the Abuser is depraved in their thinking, evil and twisted in their reasoning’s.

The Victim’s reasoning abilities, if in a relationship that they are free to walk away from, and they remain, have become warped, unable to distinguish between right and wrong. They have lost their moral compass.

Both the Abuser and the Victim suffer from the same Lie. They either do not know ‘who’ they are or that knowledge has become blurred or mutated by choosing darkness and rejecting light.

The Abuser wants to be ‘somebody’, so they find an empowering identity by dominating the victim.

The Victim becomes ‘somebody’ by assuming the role of the abused.

Sick? Yes, but it is repeated around the world in every culture. In fact, some cultures encourage abuse, some religions dictate abuse. All in the search for Identity and Self Worth.

It is not easy for a Victim to ‘just walk away’, especially if the abuse has been going on for a long period of time and an ‘identity’ has been established. It takes courage to walk away, in fact, love would walk away recognizing that the hard choice is the best choice for everyone involved.

The Abuser has but one option, to be called out and held accountable for their actions. If they have the courage to do so, they too can take the first step toward healing and health.